De-Programming Violence

"Violence starts in the Womb."

As I begin to write this article, I realize it may be rather difficult for some of you to grapple with the concepts I am presenting here.  However, you can trust that it is written from the purest space of love that I can garner, as I have worked to deprogram myself from violence for many, many years.  Therefore, I highly recommend that you stay very conscious of your breath as you read this.  You may not be able to read it straight through, so be easy on yourself.  And by all means, do not use this to convince someone else of their need to deprogram, it's okay to do your own work, while expanding your own capacity to love.

When children grow up in a household where the adults are full of hate, resentment, anger and distrust, the vibration inside the home is filled with this as well.  By now, most of us get it when someone says to us, it's all about the energy.  So imagine this, a child in the womb is being inundated with the energy of the adult who is carrying them.  Have you ever felt your own violence when you lose your temper with someone?  How about when you curse other people out?  What about when you discipline a child out of anger?  All of this energy goes into the fluid matter of your body and carries that energy to the unborn child.  Mix that with the concerns the mother may have about her future, her safety or even her economic well being; all of those feelings go into the DNA structure of the unborn fetus and they begin to receive these vibrations soon after conception, according to Bruce Lipton in his book, The Biology of Belief.

Now as interesting as that may be, usually a child who is in a violent womb, is also born into a violent household.  They are then exposed to violent television shows, including cartoons, parents are violent disciplinarians, they see violence in their neighborhoods, it's all over the media and advertising and then they have violence in the classroom where teachers are yelling at them a majority of the day.  So let's do the math . . . If everything is energy and like attracts like then it is very easy that young people who have come from violent households, will tend to hang with friends who are violent.  Likewise, couples are equally matched in the vibration of violence even if one is the aggressor and the other the victim.

Do you see where I am going with this?  Each one of us who was bred in a household of violence, has to begin our own recovery process, if we are going to assist our children in not creating that same vibration in their off spring.  Generational violence escalates, when education of self is taken out of the equation as well.  

It took me many, many years to discover that I had a violent vibration because I had it masked inside of my sweet, calm demeanor that refused to get angry no matter what anyone did to me.  I had developed this coping capacity because I grew up in a household full of angry women that slapped, hit, beat, kicked, verbally insulted me on a DAILY basis.  In order to get away from the anger, I became as invisible as possible and extremely compliant.  I developed the "good girl" syndrome so that no one would find fault with me.  Over time, this saved me from a great deal of negative attention.  Actually, no one paid any attention to me at all and I pretty much was free to disappear when they were busy with the rest of their highly dysfunctional living.

It's time to turn off the TELE-Vision!

However, bullying at school started when I was in kindergarten.  All through grammar school someone picked a fight with me on a weekly basis.  I would go home bloody and beat up  mostly every Friday until about 6th grade, when a street crew came to my rescue and started picking me up to make sure I made it home safely.  In my defense, I began hanging out with a gang when I was 12 and took the name Lady Tres'.  This was the only way I was able to be safe in route to and from school.  Being with a group of guys most of the time, pretty much ended the bullying and I only had one other fight and that was in 7th grade.  

By the time I made it to middle school, I was living a double life.  I was very smart, getting all high marks in school, but I was drinking alcohol on a regular basis and smoking pot whenever I could get it.  I was intelligent, pretty and I loved to party, so I hung with the street kids most of the time.  In my neighborhood, most parents told their daughters I was too fast for them to be around.  Rejection was a huge part of my childhood experience, so when people left my life, I learned to deal with it by drinking and partying more.  However, I was still the Valedictorian of my 8th grade class and gave a wonderful speech at the graduation that my PE Teacher helped me to write.

I married violent men; all had violent mothers.  I thought it was because I didn't have a father and therefore didn't know what to look for in a husband.  And after years of research and working with clients in my coaching practice, I have come to see the vibration of violence inside of my refusal to acknowledge anger within myself.  It was as though I attracted these men to show me how to stand up for myself, and develop the strength of my own voice and take leadership over my life.  When I finally saw this, I apologized to each one of them for blaming them for knocking my teeth out, or contributing to my dozen of black eyes. I now know how to get angry as hell without throwing a temper tantrum or blaming someone else.

As a means to deprogram violence from my life, I stopped abusing myself in all areas that I could see abuse being present. Being a workaholic is a form of self abuse, not taking care of your physical is self abuse, having poor dietary standards is a form of self abuse, any habitual self destructive act is a form of self abuse -- alcohol, sex, marijuana, food, etc.  I took myself into a world wind of self care and high priority.  I am the most important person in my Universe and I choose to live in that manner.  If it isn't good for me, I don't do it, no matter how good it feels to me.  Now mind you, I still get my partying in, I just do it all in moderation.

I have come to unmask violence for myself in several different layers:

1. Violence in how we speak to ourselves and others is most harmful.

2. Emotional violence is withholding love from someone we care about.

3.  Physical violence is the most obvious.

4. Psychological violence occurs when we intentionally harm someone by lying, stealing, cheating, gossiping, etc.

5. Spiritual violence is used through the affects of religion as a means to control and manipulate another, thus hindering their spiritual growth.

6. Economic violence occurs when finances are used to maintain control over someone.

7. Educational violence happens when images, stories, and pictures are used to condition people to be a certain way, so they remain dependent on the people who are providing the education.

To deprogram violence we must move love to the highest frequency we can muster, within ourselves.  If you make the assumption of thinking that others are suppose to love you more than you love you, then you are setting yourself up for a huge let down.  Everyone else is here to take care of themselves, just like you are here to take care of  you.  When we become less violent toward ourselves, violence will automatically decrease against another which in turn will create less domestic and community violence.  And eventually, there will be less violence against Mother Earth and wars will end as well. And just imagine it all starts with you . . . One Love!

To gain an over standing of non-violent communication check out this video . . . http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=loABGdbOXU0&feature=related

To learn more about Deprogramming Violence from your life, we invite you to join us for a series of workshops and lectures beginning this fall.  For more information, send your inquiry to mushemsut@gmail.com.

If you would like to speak with an Executive Life Coach at this time, feel free to call Rita Stewart at 773-969-6211.  Or visit her website at www.themassterforce.com

De-Programming Violence

"Violence starts in the Womb."

As I begin to write this article, I realize it may be rather difficult for some of you to grapple with the concepts I am presenting here.  However, you can trust that it is written from the purest space of love that I can garner, as I have worked to deprogram myself from violence for many, many years.  Therefore, I highly recommend that you stay very conscious of your breath as you read this.  You may not be able to read it straight through, so be easy on yourself.  And by all means, do not use this to convince someone else of their need to deprogram, it's okay to do your own work, while expanding your own capacity to love.

When children grow up in a household where the adults are full of hate, resentment, anger and distrust, the vibration inside the home is filled with this as well.  By now, most of us get it when someone says to us, it's all about the energy.  So imagine this, a child in the womb is being inundated with the energy of the adult who is carrying them.  Have you ever felt your own violence when you lose your temper with someone?  How about when you curse other people out?  What about when you discipline a child out of anger?  All of this energy goes into the fluid matter of your body and carries that energy to the unborn child.  Mix that with the concerns the mother may have about her future, her safety or even her economic well being; all of those feelings go into the DNA structure of the unborn fetus and they begin to receive these vibrations soon after conception, according to Bruce Lipton in his book, The Biology of Belief.

Now as interesting as that may be, usually a child who is in a violent womb, is also born into a violent household.  They are then exposed to violent television shows, including cartoons, parents are violent disciplinarians, they see violence in their neighborhoods, it's all over the media and advertising and then they have violence in the classroom where teachers are yelling at them a majority of the day.  So let's do the math . . . If everything is energy and like attracts like then it is very easy that young people who have come from violent households, will tend to hang with friends who are violent.  Likewise, couples are equally matched in the vibration of violence even if one is the aggressor and the other the victim.

Do you see where I am going with this?  Each one of us who was bred in a household of violence, has to begin our own recovery process, if we are going to assist our children in not creating that same vibration in their off spring.  Generational violence escalates, when education of self is taken out of the equation as well.  

It took me many, many years to discover that I had a violent vibration because I had it masked inside of my sweet, calm demeanor that refused to get angry no matter what anyone did to me.  I had developed this coping capacity because I grew up in a household full of angry women that slapped, hit, beat, kicked, verbally insulted me on a DAILY basis.  In order to get away from the anger, I became as invisible as possible and extremely compliant.  I developed the "good girl" syndrome so that no one would find fault with me.  Over time, this saved me from a great deal of negative attention.  Actually, no one paid any attention to me at all and I pretty much was free to disappear when they were busy with the rest of their highly dysfunctional living.

It's time to turn off the TELE-Vision!

However, bullying at school started when I was in kindergarten.  All through grammar school someone picked a fight with me on a weekly basis.  I would go home bloody and beat up  mostly every Friday until about 6th grade, when a street crew came to my rescue and started picking me up to make sure I made it home safely.  In my defense, I began hanging out with a gang when I was 12 and took the name Lady Tres'.  This was the only way I was able to be safe in route to and from school.  Being with a group of guys most of the time, pretty much ended the bullying and I only had one other fight and that was in 7th grade.  

By the time I made it to middle school, I was living a double life.  I was very smart, getting all high marks in school, but I was drinking alcohol on a regular basis and smoking pot whenever I could get it.  I was intelligent, pretty and I loved to party, so I hung with the street kids most of the time.  In my neighborhood, most parents told their daughters I was too fast for them to be around.  Rejection was a huge part of my childhood experience, so when people left my life, I learned to deal with it by drinking and partying more.  However, I was still the Valedictorian of my 8th grade class and gave a wonderful speech at the graduation that my PE Teacher helped me to write.

I married violent men; all had violent mothers.  I thought it was because I didn't have a father and therefore didn't know what to look for in a husband.  And after years of research and working with clients in my coaching practice, I have come to see the vibration of violence inside of my refusal to acknowledge anger within myself.  It was as though I attracted these men to show me how to stand up for myself, and develop the strength of my own voice and take leadership over my life.  When I finally saw this, I apologized to each one of them for blaming them for knocking my teeth out, or contributing to my dozen of black eyes. I now know how to get angry as hell without throwing a temper tantrum or blaming someone else.

As a means to deprogram violence from my life, I stopped abusing myself in all areas that I could see abuse being present. Being a workaholic is a form of self abuse, not taking care of your physical is self abuse, having poor dietary standards is a form of self abuse, any habitual self destructive act is a form of self abuse -- alcohol, sex, marijuana, food, etc.  I took myself into a world wind of self care and high priority.  I am the most important person in my Universe and I choose to live in that manner.  If it isn't good for me, I don't do it, no matter how good it feels to me.  Now mind you, I still get my partying in, I just do it all in moderation.

I have come to unmask violence for myself in several different layers:

1. Violence in how we speak to ourselves and others is most harmful.

2. Emotional violence is withholding love from someone we care about.

3.  Physical violence is the most obvious.

4. Psychological violence occurs when we intentionally harm someone by lying, stealing, cheating, gossiping, etc.

5. Spiritual violence is used through the affects of religion as a means to control and manipulate another, thus hindering their spiritual growth.

6. Economic violence occurs when finances are used to maintain control over someone.

7. Educational violence happens when images, stories, and pictures are used to condition people to be a certain way, so they remain dependent on the people who are providing the education.

To deprogram violence we must move love to the highest frequency we can muster, within ourselves.  If you make the assumption of thinking that others are suppose to love you more than you love you, then you are setting yourself up for a huge let down.  Everyone else is here to take care of themselves, just like you are here to take care of  you.  When we become less violent toward ourselves, violence will automatically decrease against another which in turn will create less domestic and community violence.  And eventually, there will be less violence against Mother Earth and wars will end as well. And just imagine it all starts with you . . . One Love!

To gain an over standing of non-violent communication check out this video . . . http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=loABGdbOXU0&feature=related

To learn more about Deprogramming Violence from your life, we invite you to join us for a series of workshops and lectures beginning this fall.  For more information, send your inquiry to mushemsut@gmail.com.

If you would like to speak with an Executive Life Coach at this time, feel free to call Rita Stewart at 773-969-6211.  Or visit her website at www.themassterforce.com

Emptying The Vessel

A friend of mine received a beautiful bouquet of roses the other night from a gentleman she was going out to dinner with. I had a nice glass vase for her to put the flowers in but it had been sitting for a while so there was residue of dirt, mud and dust on the bottom of it. As I began to run water into the vase to clean it, the dirt inside created mud. It took a few minutes before the glass container cleared up enough to complete the wash and then add fresh water for the roses. Have you ever attempted to put something into a full or even dirty cup, vessel or pot of some kind without cleaning it first? I’d like you to consider that many of us do this with our emotional energy all the time.

When you are seeking to add goodness to your life but you haven’t taken the time to completely heal from some damaged version of yourself, then the most that you can get is the mess mingled in with the fresh. When this happens we experience what many of us refer to as drama. This is particularly true in our relationships whether it’s with co-workers, family members and even our love mates. Let me give you an example of what I am talking about.

I had a client that really wanted to find his life partner. His biggest complaint was that women he dated were insecure, needy and possessive. So after a couple of coaching sessions I asked him if he had any of these qualities within himself. He resounded with a loud, “Not at all.” He then began to give me evidence of how successful his life had been in the creation of money, business, material possessions and his exotic lifestyle. When I asked him if he openly shared his business success with any of the women he had dated in the past, he said, “I don’t think they would be able to handle it.” And there in lies the “red flag”.

Many times the relationships we experience in our childhood with the adult members of our family tend to color the way we view the opposite sex. If our mothers were bossy, overbearing, needy or possessive with the father, then men tend to make up in their minds that women can’t be true partners. The same is true with women who grow up without fathers; they tend to make up that men will always leave. Both of these cases are held as truth in the hearts of the individuals so all they ever experience is the outcome of their beliefs.

Now just suppose we are able to create a paradigm shift which allows our parents to be in the perfect relationship they were in with their spouse regardless if they stayed together or not. Imagine that they subconsciously chose the partners they were with based on what they needed to experience for their spiritual growth? When we are able to observe where people are without drawing conclusions about “why” they are, this will give us more room to integrate the lessons of love that we are to learn from our childhood relationships.

For each of us to experience life in the present moment we must attempt to release old beliefs, patterns and thoughts that keep us from having what we desire. We have to empty the vessel so that the good stuff can get in. Otherwise, we tend to only attract the same people and situations over and over until we learn to integrate the love lessons that are strongly leading us to love unconditionally whether or not our parents have learned to do so or not.

Your first thought is probably, “that is easier said than done,” and I would definitely agree with you. However, when you begin the practice of examining yourself in light of outdated beliefs, thoughts and patterns you will get in touch with your true authentic self who is completely unlike anyone you have ever known. You will experience the joy of being someone exciting, different and creative without always insisting that what you are doing is “right”. Many people do the same thing over and over again to prove that what they are doing is the way it should be done, whether it is working for them or not. They are always looking to say, “See, I told you this would work.” And in the meantime, they have missed many amazing opportunities to grow, expand and contribute to a vibrant world that can only be experienced and not captured.

Breathe into your stomach then slowly exhale, now look to see what beliefs or patterns you are holding on to that are no longer serving you. Are you willing to let them go? Are you willing to experience the best version of yourself? Are you open to being in the flow of your highest good? When you make it a regular practice to “empty your vessel”, your life will become more meaningful and far more adventurous than you could have ever imagined. And when someone gives you roses you can put them in a clear glass vessel where their true beauty will be transparent to all.

Take a moment to view this presentation it will assist you in your efforts to empty.

http://prezi.com/w7u8ngdlga2c/

~~ Love and Light

www.mushemsut.com